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Posts tagged ‘roger federer’

THE WEEPIN’ WOODS!


Anyone who has been watching the idiot box, even cursorily, would bear me out in that the GILLETTE ad featuring Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry and Roger Federer, that their clean shaven moustache-less looks were attempted to be portrayed as a mark of success in itself. The AC NIELSEN study and the dubious statistics that they rolled out to the Indian masses that “women” love moustache-less men was in-keeping with their choice of the celebrities mentioned above.

I had watched the likes of Bjorn Borg, Stefan Edberg and Pete Sampras who had never ever shed tears like our Federer had! Thierry Henry’s handball aka Diego Maradona and the latest claims of affairs by barmaids, whores and other publicity seeking cheapsters implicating Tiger Woods is not in-keeping with the image of golfing!! Our Tiger Woods has turned out to be like Marlow of SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER by Oliver Goldsmith, where Marlow is comfortable only with women of low station in life and the heroine had to don the barmaid’s role to get Marlow to come out of his bashful self!! Our Tiger Woods seems to a new avatar of that Marlow of SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER.

Gillette, which has been going to town with their publicity of clean shaven men have stopped all that crass bull-shit that they have been tom-tomming.

If there is any inference that could be drawn from the events that have unfolded in the last 3 weeks, it is this. AFRICAN-AMERICAN men without moustache have been discovered as CHEATS. Thierry Henry did not have the honesty to accept that the crucial goal was a handball. Tiger Woods has been caught with his pants down and he has the gall to tell, “I AM NOT PERFECT!!” The “affairs”, if any, was not without his consent, but to go public and say that HE IS NOT PERFECT shows that he thought there were idiotic men who mistook his golfing skills for  CHARACTER!!!

All that ACCENTURE”s, PERFORMANCE DELIVERED seems to have been delivered still-born. Woods went ahead and JUST DID IT (some tribute to NIKE!!)

Let us not mix performance with character. They are 2 different things. Berlusconi is a performer but none expects him to talk or lecture on MORALITY. But the celebrities chosen by GILLETTE have all leveraged their visibility and alloyed it with a lot of hypocrisy and made them all look like heroes with character. When they came up with the lastest one, that women prefer men without moustache, LIFE hit back. LIFE doesn’t tolerate these half-baked inferences to peddle products.

ONE WORD OF ADVICE TO ACCENTURE, NIKE AND GILLETTE IS THAT PLEASE DO NOT ASCRIBE TRAITS TO MEN WHO DO NOT HAVE IT!!

PLEASE CHOOSE MEN- who would at least own up to their proclivities and weaknesses.

SPORT FACIAL HAIR.  BE A MAN, AT LEAST, ON FIRST LOOK!!

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FEDERER WINS- WITHOUT CRYING!


Wimbledon 2009, and the winner is ROGER FEDERER. I had the good firtune of watching the match where Roger Federer broke all the previous records of a single male winning GRAND SLAMS. Federer had won 15 Grand Slam tournaments and is still counting on the future.

The match was interesting, Federer did not break a single serve of Andy Roddick- till the last set. Had Federer won the Match with the FOURTH SET- in a tie-break, it would have been historic in the sense that without breaking a serve in the Finals, one had became the Wimbledon Champion! We have tampered with the game in the name of  LOGISTICS, ENDURANCE, VIEWERSHIP etc. etc.. The earlier format was that there was no tie breaks. Each game had to be won with a difference of 2 points and each set with a difference of 2 games. In our love for effeminacy and emasculating the ENDURANCE quotient of the player, the tie break brought in brevity and a sprinter’s attitude to the game of tennis. However, to some extent good sense prevailed that they left the 5th set of the match in the old format. Otherwise, WIMBLEDON 2009 could have been a Grand Slam which was won by a champion without breaking the opponent’s serve even once!!

Secondly, the standard of WOMEN’S  TENNIS, is appallingly bad that but for their skimpy dresses and the cameras focussing from the ground level, there is hardly anything worth watching. This year  even that was one sided, Serena and Venus are hardly the choices fit for such viewing!!

I asked a woman friend of mine, a die-hard fan of Federer,  as to why she rooted for FEDERER. Her reply was prompt and flabbergasting. EVEN WHEN HE WINS HE CRIES!! When asked further, what if he cries? Her reply was that WHEN A WINNER CRIES, IT SHOWS HIS HUMILITY AND MAKES HIM LOOK CUTE!!

But u gotta watch his game. Not his CUTENESS etc. etc.

She wisely said: You idiot, why do men watch Maria Sharapova, Steffi Graf etc. etc? They don’t watch them for their tennis prowess. Men play better anyday, it is just that there is a promordial instinct in man to ogle at successful and elegant women. They watch these women players for those reasons. Likewise, women like to watch men’s tennis  for appreciating successful, competitive men. But when a successful or competitive man after winning a match shows, rather is not afraid of showing his softer side by CRYING, the maternal instincts get awakened like a bolt of lightning. It is that which we call CUTE.

GOD BLESS FEDERER’S CUTENESS, BUT THIS YEAR IN THE WIMBLEDON, HE FELL SHORT OF HIS CUTENESS- HE DID NOT CRY. MAY BE THE SAME WOMEN WOULD SAY HE’S BECOME ARROGANT!!!

LEVERAGING LUCK!


In today’s(9th June, 2009)TIMES OF INDIA, Bangalore edition, there was a statement ascribed to Roger Federer, which runs as follows: ” Even if one has luck, it has to be pursued and encashed when one is still lucky.”

Roger Federer had tasted defeat at the hands of Rafael Nadal  in the finals of two different Grand Slam events. Pete Sampras  had lost to Martin Safin, Hewitt and Agassi in Grand Slam finals, but Federer had lost only to Nadal. This year’s finals at the French Open was the only opportunity that Federer got in the recent past to play the French finals without Nadal. The eventual finalist Soderling was responsible for the loss of Nadal in the earlier round.

The way Soderling played against Nadal, i was sure that Soderling would take the French Title. By hindsight, that was not to be. Federer demolished Soderling in the finals, that too in straight sets. Soderling simply did not have the grit nor the mental resistance to forget that he was playing a 13 time grand slam champion! In fact in the post match interview Soderling was thankful that, “Roger gave me a lesson in tennis!” It reflected the mental subservience that Soderling had submitted himself to sub-consciously even before the match and so shamelessly expressed after the match. Well one cannot expect much from the 23rd seeded player.

Despite all the above facts, which so egregiously conspired to favour Roger, it was for Roger to encash the LUCK that was so benignly smiling at him. Roger rose to the occasion. No Nadal and he sniffed the French trophy at grasping distance. He redoubled his effort and ensured that the match did not go beyond the 3rd set. Who knows as to whether after the third set the Dame Luck would still have  smiled or spurned? Federer took no chances, he executed and there he stood as the champion.

I for one am happy for Federer, even though i terribly dislike his tearful expressions of joys and sorrows on court. Tennis may not be the manliest of games, but it sure is one of the gentlemanliest of games and crying on court without the ability to hold back one’s tears despite one’s victory or loss is reflective of the lack of gamesmanship.

Methinks his wife is more poised and evens out these outbursts.

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