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Archive for July, 2013

Medical Colleges and SOCIALISM!


The grasshopper whistled and frittered away its time talking of banning English as a medium of instruction but always relied on the rains which fell from the heavenly parliament- as they had more numbers in the parliament and whenever there was a crisis in numbers, they stepped in irrespective of their avowed creed and bailed out the incumbent government, if the dole was right! But the ant had no such godfathers! It had to slog and slog.

The winters are coming. The sins of the fathers are being visited upon the children. I don’t like it- but somewhere some balancing out has to take place. One can not advocate illiteracy and glorify poverty. The poor are to be ‘supported’- but not at the cost of more diligent neighbours.

So there has been a helluva lotta cry about not making NEET(NATIONAL ELIGIBILITY cum ENTRANCE TEST) the mode for admissions into all the medical colleges in India. The Supreme Court of India has struck down the admission mode through NEET only as prescribed by Union Government (btw the Constitution of India recognizes only 2 Governments viz UNION and STATES, there is nothing called Central and Peripheral!) The reason cited by the Supreme Court being that the MCI Act 1956 is NOT empowered under the MCI Act to compel the mode of admissions to the Medical Colleges in India. As simple as that!

There are the grasshopper states in India and the ant states in India. I have seen my brethren from both states and have seen them slog it out as well as while away their time in hookahs, beedis and vain talk! Admission time is the winter time for aspirants of medical seats! The grasshopper states have fewer medical colleges and the aspirants from those states will have to either shell out huge sums and get admitted in their HOME STATES  or pay even huger sums and study in states like Karnataka, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Gujarat or Kerala (which have 70% of Medical seats in India)!

My question is IF ENGLISH SHOULD BE BANNED, WHY SHOULD THERE BE ASPIRANTS FOR ALLOPATHIC INSTITUTIONS FROM THOSE STATES WHICH ARE VEHEMENTLY OPPOSING ENGLISH AS THE MEDIUM OF INSTRUCTION? Why are the people of those states putting up with such leaders who are taking them up the garden path? One of those leaders had got his son admitted in an Engineering college in Karnataka and he then went to Australia to complete his PG and the boy so educated  is presiding over a state which delivers  bulk of the parliamentarians to make laws relating to the UNION and some of the CONCURRENT lists. But his father wants ENGLISH eliminated for his constituents!

Now, they want their children to go to other states, not merely as students from other states but with a RIGHT! That DIVINE RIGHT which would bestow seats to them in the name of EQUAL OPPORTUNITY and Socialism!

These Medical Institutions have a history and they did not spring up overnight. Some of them are minority institutions which have been built by those linguistic and religious minorities for EDUCATING themselves. These minority institutions have the sanctity of the highest law- THE CONSTITUTION OF INDIA. These were not “gifted” by the munificence of some feudal lord, but built by some visionary of that minority or someone interested in the upliftment of the minority. One cannot use laws which do not empower the MCI to be made a tool in the hands of the politicians who pander to the vote-casting electorate, to give away these hard-earned assets of certain states and certain communities in the name of altruistic Socialism or Equality. DON’T ROB PETER, IF YOU WANT TO PAY PAUL YOU BLOODY WELL EARN AND PAY PAUL!

MCI is not exactly run by angels that once they are allowed to step in all the grasshopper states would get an equal opportunity! All one needs to do is Google the corruption scandals in MCI and the litany of such news tumble and show that indeed angels do not run the MCI.

A word of gratuitous advice to those GRASSHOPPER STATES- land revenue and intoxicants are entirely within the state list and a state like TAMIL NADU has exploited it to the hilt by ensuring that the revenue out of LIQUOR does not go out of the state of Tamil Nadu and last heard, collects Rs. 40,000 CRORE out of its TASMAC  operations. A state can live well only if its revenues are shored up and wisely spent for building INFRASTRUCTURE for the future generations to build upon. EDUCATION IS THE GREATEST OF ALL INFRASTRUCTURE. Otherwise, one can whistle away one’s life in wanting to force ANT states to learn Hindi, don’t learn English etc. etc.

I am reminded of the poem A PSALM OF LIFE by H.W Longfellow:

Let us, then, be up and doing.
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

So the grasshopper states should learn to labour and to wait! The reward of our labour never ever comes IMMEDIATELY.

MIRACLE – TOPE FOLARIN


MIRACLE is a short story by a Nigerian-American writer by name Tope Folarin.

The setting of the story is similar to THE PENTECOSTAL MISSION church, which has made itself the flag-bearer of the Paulian type of Christianity, which not only made forays into the then supposed “pagan” culture, but in the process had to substitute some of those pagan practices with its own innovative ‘non-Jesus-mentioned’ practices to fill up the vacuum created  though PAULIAN CHRISTIANITY! Thus was born PAULIAN CHRISTIANITY, and many do believe in it. One has to have a RELAPSE-ABLE PAGAN PAST to be in this Paulian Christian community.

There is no substitute to reading the short story, which is very poignant for any diaspora- even within India, that is if one carries a cultural baggage into another state from the state of one’s roots in India.

The following excerpt shows a congregation which had assembled to receive blessings from a prophet who was visiting the US from Nigeria:

We have come from all over North Texas to see him. Some of us have
come from Oklahoma, some of us from Arkansas, a few of us from Louisiana
and a couple from New Mexico. We own his books, his tapes, his
holy water, his anointing oil. We know that he is an instrument of God’s
will, and we have come because we need miracles.
We need jobs. We need good grades. We need green cards. We need
American passports. We need our parents to understand that we are Americans.
We need our children to understand they are Nigerians. We need new
kidneys, new lungs, new limbs, new hearts. We need to forget the harsh rigidity
of our lives, to remember why we
believe, to be beloved, and to hope.
We need miracles.

The following is excerpted from MIRACLE as to how the Nigerian Prophet starts the build-up to the service:

He remains quiet for a few moments—we can feel the anticipation building,
breath by breath, in the air. He smiles. Then he begins to hum. A
haunting, discordant melody. The bandleader tries to find the tune among
the keys of his piano, but the old man slaps the air and the bandleader
allows the searching music to die.
He continues to hum and we listen to his music. Suddenly he turns to
our left and points to a space somewhere on the ceiling:
“I DEMAND YOU TO LEAVE THIS PLACE!” he screams, and we know
there is something malevolent in our midst. We search the area his sightless
eyes are probing, somewhere in the open space above our heads. We can’t see
anything, but we raise our voices in response to the prophet’s call. Soon our
voices are a cacophonous stew of Yoruba and English, shouting and singing,
spitting and humming, and the prophet from Nigeria speaks once more:
“We must continue to pray ladies and gentlemen! There are forces here
that do not wish for this to be a successful service.

The beauty about MIRACLE is that there is a parallel between Nigeria and the US, even within the borders of this great country of India. The Pentecostal Mission, which was originally founded by one Raman Kutty was from Kerala, who coincidentally renamed himself Paul (remember that Paulian Christianity?) and after a series of turmoil located their HEADQUARTERS to Chennai of the state of Tamilnadu (which demographically is the only major state in India with a higher percentage of Christians than any other religious minority!). This denomination abbreviated as TPM boasts of the largest adherents of any Pentecostal church! For them, Tamilnadu is the US where their revenues roll from but their ‘labour force’ comes from Kerala- and it is sure that all those expatriate Keralite TPMites are in a similar mode as these Nigerian expats!

How universal do rackets get!

 

NHAI & TRAFFIC POLICING


NHAI had been given all the existing roads which were formerly under the maintenance of CPWD to private operators, consequently NHAI roads have become tollable roads. Just to ensure that the vote-casting lower middle class do not make a hue and cry about these “TOLLABLE” roads, as a concession, auto-rickshaws, cycles, motor cycles and local buses are exempted from paying toll. In effect the government has ensured that the lower income group does not escalate the matter.

However, this measure has left car owners with no option but to pay toll wherever they go. Since their voice is not heard in the din of ‘socialistic measures’, none emphasizes this point. In effect there are no alternate FREE ROADS for car owners.

Coming to the overladen trucks, in a segment of around 50KMs, a car if charged Rs.70/- the toll collectible from a truck is Rs.210/- one way. This is whether the truck is laden or not. What is the load on the road because of a car? Starting from 600Kgs to 2500Kgs. But what is the fully laden weight of a normally over-laden truck- 35,000 Kgs. Which in proportion would be ten times that of a passenger car. So if one works pro-rata for the trucks keeping Rs.70/- as the base rate, then the trucks should be paying Rs.700/- per segment of 50 Kms. Why is this anomaly, in the name of ‘socialism’? We as a nation have to keep the prices of goods down and therefore keep the toll charges down on trucks at the cost of the passenger cars. (Rob the non-vote-casting passenger, Peter to pay the vote-casting low income, Paul!)

Even this is tolerable, but what can’t be tolerated is that in a three lane NHAI, in the inner most lane, which is normally used by high speed passenger cars and emergency vehicles, crawling over-loaded trucks huff and puff blocking the least facility of quick movement for the fast moving passenger cars. Especially, in the stretch between Ambur, Krishnagiri and Hosur on the NHAI between Chennai and Bangalore, there is an upward gradient making even ideally loaded trucks to struggle.

In view of the above problems, there are two measures which are to be taken up by NHAI and done on a war footing:-

1. Weigh bridges are to be installed at every toll plaza so that, overweight trucks are to be charged extra based on the overweight, so that the prices do not get affected for carrying goods within the prescribed limits for trucks.

2. Traffic Police are to be made more efficient, so that rogue truckers moving on the inner lanes are charged real time.

3. Further, there are not enough public conveniences on the way for travelers, and I should say that i saw two girls of the age between 23-25 having to cross three lanes on each side to find a public convenience after their bus stopped near a tea stall, which for the favour of bringing 40 clients for tea, the stall owner gives free tea and biscuits to the driver and conductors.

Considering the fact that the usage of NHAI are the highest in the Western India and Southern India, it is important that NHAI TRAFFIC POLICE SERVICE be mooted and implemented, so that they could join the local police, traffic authorities and bring some order to the traffic chaos, which is brewing in the NHAIs!

 

 

LISICKI – WIMBLEDON RUNNER-UP!


I don’t know why- but most of my blog readers have had a glee in their faces while talking to me as if I had predicted that LISICKI would will the Wimbledon!

I presume that I had written my blog in such a way that led them to believe that I had predicted so. I told some of them to go back and read my blog. Some have not yet been told. Some probably read and never came back.

As a defence, I would say that I merely presented the way she was and I believe she “LIVED” up to it. When the crowd could not find any flimsy reason to cheer her up, they breached all decency and started cheering her for her opponent’s unforced errors. I thought the crowd was moved by sentiment, but this morning;s THE HINDU says, “NERVES OF LISICKI……………”. Does it really matter? Did the spectators come to the finals of Wimbledon paying more than Pounds 6,000/- per ticket to watch what one could watch watching a soap opera from the the idiot box for free at home?

Lisicki got us all! We are rooting for her without knowing. We are not hoping that she WOULD TURN OUT TO THE BEST PLAYER AT THAT TIME AND THEN WIN THE WIMBLEDON IN FUTURE, BUT WE ARE ROOTING FOR HER BY IMAGINING THAT SHE SHOULD HOLD THE TROPHY AS A WINNER- FOR ALL WE CARE WE DON’T MIND A WALK-OVER BY HER OPPONENT IN THE FINALS AT WIMBLEDON, IN FUTURE!

She cried while playing- THE FIRST I HAVE SEEN (for performance reasons!) She was angry that her racquet was not meeting the ball where she wanted it to meet. Her first serve had lost its stinging speed? Wherewith shall that be met- merely y thrashing it to a corner for Lisicki to run and she did run.

When everything failed, Lisicki was contrite in court not having lived up to the expectations of the crowds! A string of crocodile tears and a sudden wipe to it to show macho men like me that she can’t cry on court- a stiffening! I loved it- what feminine grace with guile! I shockingly enjoyed.

I love this girl and whenever it would be a finals with her playing for the title in future, Deo Volente, I shall be there!

So who won the Men’s title today? After becoming a victim of  feminine guile & grace, I have petered out on the men’s scene!! 

 

Sabine Lisicki in Wimbledon Finals!


What a joy it was to see Lisicki win 9-7 in the third set!

Firstly, the outstanding gender issue! When in men’s tennis it is best of five sets , why only in women’s tennis it is best of three sets! EQUAL PAY FOR EQUAL WORK had been the bedrock of the feminists for getting parity in pay with men. Now it seems it is EQUAL PAY FOR WOMEN AND MEN WHO DRAW EQUAL CROWD!

Equating pay with “work” is so LABOURISH. It has been taken to the next level of aesthetics. When i watch men’s tennis, i tend to get aggressive and want my horse to ‘squash that yellow ball into the face of the opponent rushing to the net!”, but when women play, I become an aesthete- I have so much to watch! It could happen any second of the entire match! It may be a wardrobe malfunction (just as in a catwalk), a fall and a sudden slide or even a comment like the one which was made by STEFFI GRAF to a proposer who un-romantically asked “STEFFI WILL YOU MARRY ME?” and Steffi’s utterly feminine response of, “HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE?”. These are the moments which make my day, so far as women’s tennis is concerned.

BUT IT ALL STOPPED- AFTER SEEING LISICKI! I can withstand almost anything except ELEGANCE.

You may ask, what the hell do I mean by ELEGANCE?

My answer is simple: I WILL NOTIFY YOU WHEN I SEE IT, BUT DON’T ASK  FOR THE INGREDIENTS – IT IS A QUESTION OF TASTE! and all TASTE is a question of DISCERNMENT, which means WHAT SHOULD NOT BE THERE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT IS THERE. Whatever is there, shown and seen by us could be ACQUIRED, but there are certain things which are ABSENT when CERTAIN THINGS ARE SHOWN OR SEEN- that COMBO IS TASTE. One has to have discernment to see that whole picture. And I should say she has POWER, PRECISION & PANACHE. PANACHE being in the company of power and precision is strange and it is that combo, which for me, makes it ELEGANT.

In PANACHE one has to have Flamboyance and Bravado . FLAMBOYANCE is an ability to self announce one’s own ARRIVAL, BRAVADO is self announcement of one’s own FUTURE STATUS that  I WILL BE THE BEST!

Lisicki has both in good measure.

This PANACHE in the company of POWER & PRECISION is strange, because, I believe, that POWER and PRECISION teaches everyone that FUTURE IS UNCERTAIN, So, LISICKI’s self announcements add spice and make it elegant.

Did you notice SERENA WILLIAMS’ face at the end of the 2nd set? It showed as if, “ONCE YOU WERE INDIFFERENT TO THIS AFRO-AMERICAN GIRL, LATER YOU HAVE BEEN WELCOMING ME TILL NOW, BUT NOW YOU AVE BEEN LED AWAY BY THE CHARM OF MY OPPONENT- I HAD STARTED SEEING THIS TOO- AND I DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT THE SPECTATORS THINK!

LISICKI IN SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD HAVE LOOKED AT THE CROWD AND CONVEYED; COME ON! YOUR CHEER CAN PULL ME OUT OF THIS RUT.

Everyone in the crowd participates (except for those cussed FEMINISTS who say to themselves LOOK AT THAT B#@$H eliciting SYMPATHY.) They get it wrong, it is not SYMPATHY, but YOUR PARTICIPATION. That is PANACHE- an IMPERIOUS DEMAND as if I were duty bound to cheer her to win!  Either FOLLOW me or CHALLENGE me!

LISICKI takes the spectator’s love for her, to be the starting point of her WIMBLEDON. I love such assumptions- it is so aesthetically satisfying. I go to bed with an aesthetic fulfillment and most probably sleep like an innocent baby, and enter the Kingdom of God!

So, what is it that LISICKI doesn’t have, which makes HER ELEGANT? Well, it is this: in the company of POWER and PRECISION, like the third person in the triune God, DOURNESS sneaks in. It is that LACK OF DOURNESS SUBSTITUTED BY PANACHE which makes LISICKI elegant.

SURROGACY!


Surrogacy children are precious children, but behind such preciousness there must be a NECESSITY for it to be counted PRECIOUS. But when the only reason for surrogacy is a whim to choose a gender or to have one more biological child, beyond the recommended two (in India) is not only anti-social but simply CUSSED!

Sure, it is not anybody’s business to recommend the number of children a person may WANT have.

So I told my sharp friend that Shah Rukh Khan, a Hindi actor, had had a surrogate baby, he was not merely sceptical but dragged my mind to a remote possibility- not altogether pleasant. He said, “SEE MY FRIEND, HAVE YOU READ THE LATEST STORY A BOUT A NOW GROWN UP MAN, WHO HAD EARLIER TESTIFIED BEFORE A COURT OF LAW IN THE US, STATING THAT HE WAS NOT SEXUALLY MOLESTED BY MICHAEL JACKSON?

I said in the affirmative and while still wondering about the connection between the topics, he said, “DO YOU ALSO KNOW THAT MILLIONS OF $ WERE PAID TO THOSE KIDS FOR OBTAINING THEIR SILENCE BEFORE THE COURTS?” I said YES. So what has Michael Jackson’s story gotta do with our Shah Rukh Khan’s surrogate kid?

He said, “No one except SRK, Gauri Khan and the surrogate mother may know the whole story. And now that the people concerned are not willing to talk and SRK has added a new spin of “sadness” to the undisclosed reason, why don’t you speculate and see the connection?”

I was still lost as my imagination was not taking me to such Poesque heights.

So he butt in and said, “See my dear pal, MJ managed the matter in the courts and had to pay enormously each time an abused kid’s relatives threatened MJ. Thankfully MJ passed away before these kids grew a spine and revealed the FACTS. Otherwise, he’d have had criminal charges brought against him. In this case at home, is it not possible that the donor egg was also from the surrogate mother?”

I said, “I don’t know. I believe that it could be G’s. But as you said it could be the surrogate mother’s egg too!”

He said, “IN WHICH CASE, IS IT NOT POSSIBLE THAT THE HERO COULD HAVE PLAYED THE VILLAIN ‘NATURALLY’ ON THE SURROGATE MOTHER?

Possible, I said.

THEN TO ENSURE THAT RAPE CHARGES ARE NOT BROUGHT IN A FUTURE DATE THAT THE VICTIM HAD BEEN CONVERTED INTO A SURROGATE MOTHER- Is it not possible?

I could not tolerate such distasteful speculation on the macabre. I said, “Boss, let us think well of others and give everyone a benefit of doubt. And as SRK has said, let us be patient and hear the sad side of his story before making up our minds.

OH ST.MOVID! The only thing missing is a halo at the back of your head. Grow up and think up all possibilities, however remote they might be. Let us forget about all those bored celebrities who adopt children from different continents, remove their breasts at the slightest hint of a research suggesting a defective gene or even attributing throat cancer to cunnilingus. They have to be innovative and as they are in the waning phase of their celebrityhood, they concoct issues never thought up before.

GOD KNOWS WHY ANY CELEBRITY DID ANYTHING NOW-A-DAYS!

 

 

Sabine Lisicki!


Today was not particularly a nice day at office. An opportunity to visit South Africa had slipped through my fingers and consequently, having nothing much to do but to mull over whether I had let an opportunity through lack of prosecution whirring my mind, I took refuge at the idiot box. Remembering that WIMBLEDON was on, i switched on STAR SPORTS II and to my utter dismay saw the buffalo playing her shots with her orange shorts showing her amply rounded bottoms.

I hate buffaloes, not because they are dark complexioned- I lost all that moral right when i discovered that I myself was classified as “dark”. But, being dark doesn’t disqualify anyone from calling others dark. Maybe, it is politically incorrect to discriminate anyone based on colour, but being a buffalo is not about colour at all. It is that sluggishness coupled with sturdiness and a bullish belief that one is better than the rest which makes one a BUFFALO.

I believe SERENA WILLIAMS has all those buffalo traits which gives the dark aura of INVINCIBILITY. Serena was playing SABINE LISICKI She was all ELEGANCE and FEMININE. I see no reason for a female to be in skirts if she doesn’t find a reason to be feminine. Muscles and veins may be the outgrowths of tennis practice, but lack of FEMININITY in a female form is terrible lack of soul.

LISICKI was amazing and wore a smile and especially when she saw twice in succession the ball rolling over to her side, Lisicki’s wry smile was refreshing. Lisicki had not lost her soul in the rush to reach the top in women’s tennis. She had the elegance of a swan and bowled me over! When she took the first set against SERENA, i was mightily pleased. When she the third set to the thunderous ovation of the crowd, it was exhilarating.

The match was a proof that one need not lose one’s femininity to come with strong serves or angled shots. It is not about pigging it out and keeping reserve fat to deal with exhausting exigencies in tennis.

What was even more irritating were the painted nails of the buffalo, which caused eyesore in the absence of femininity. But was relieved to see the back of Serena and at least till next July, I don’t have to see Serena in the courts of Wimbledon in Singles’ match.

Richard Krajicek once said about women’s tennis : “I said that 80 percent of the top 100 are fat pigs, but I just over-exaggerated a little bit,” he said. “What I meant to say was that only 75 percent, yes.” and when he was told that Martina Navratilova had not taken to his comment lightly, he said:“Why should she take it personally. She is not in that 20%.”

But in this blog I take no such protection, except for that wise little statement which says, “IF SOMETHING WALKS LIKE A DUCK & QUACKS LIKE ONE ,THEN THAT CREATURE HAS TO BE A DUCK!”

Serena has no elegance not to mention the daintiness some women players have exhibited. Some of the shots she played reminded me of the masculine THANDAVA, with her legs flailing upward in all directions!

Thank God! He spared me of such unsightly tennis!

 

 

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