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Archive for May, 2012

IPL Trophy!


So who’s gonna lift it? After 8 hours, i may be able to give reasons for my prediction but after 10 hours i can tell u the FACT. Anything before that is either what i want or who in my opinion would win thw IPL TROPHY.

I want CSK to win. In my opinion too, CSK is  likely to be the winner.

Nobody can regulate my LIKING, but if i tell that CSK is likely to win, i have to back it up with reasons.

THE QUESTION IS SIMPLE:

IF CSK BATS SECOND CAN CSK SCORE IN 16 OVERS WHAT BENGAL (KKR) SCORES IN 20 OVERS? The answer is a resounding YES. But what is this 16 overs about? Elementary Mr. Watson: Mr Naraine would bowl 4 overs and CSK batsmen are not likely to take chances, CSK would merely want to see NARAINE off with his overs. My prediction is that Naraine is likely to bowl the 2nd, 11th , 18th and 20th overs of the match. That is if KKR bowls first, if it were to bowl  second, Naraine would have exhausted his overs by 16th over, as Gautam Gambhir is likely to use him to break CSK’s scoring speed or partnerships and thereby exhausting Naraine’s overs before the last quarter.

If CSK bats first, the only person who could finish off Naraine would be BRAVO. He has no respect for BALLS, as he himself has TOO MUCH OF IT TO CARE FOR IT IN OTHERS.

Even though the battle seems to be between CHENNAI and KOLKATA, the underlying fact is that it is a battle between  DELHIITES (Gautam Ghambir and Shah Rukh Khan) on the side of KKR and a BIHARI (Jharkhand was formerly of Bihar) and a TAMBRAM (Srinivasan) on the other side. Despite these deep rooted affiliations, at the BRAND level, CHENNAI is supported by the Tamils.

You may wonder why i bring in these distinctions: But last night when i spoke to my Delhi friend he enlightened me :  SEE JUST BECAUSE CSK AND KKR ARE INVOLVED IN THE TITLE CLASH,  WE CANNOT BE NEUTRAL. AFTER ALL WE ARE FROM DELHI & WE HAVE TO DECIDE FURTHER COURSE OF ACTION- FIRSTLY WE DON’T LIKE YOU CHENNAIITES BECAUSE YOU DO NOT ACCEPT HINDI AS THE NATIONAL LANGUAGE. SECONDLY, YOU BEAT US TO BE THERE, WHICH MEANS OUR ENEMY’S ENEMY IS OUR FRIEND. THIRDLY, CALCUTTA HAD ACCEPTED DELHI AS THE CAPITAL AND CONCEDED IN1912, BUT CHENNAI IS SHOWING RESISTANCE, SO I AM SORRY WE CANNOT SUPPORT CHENNAI. My friend spoke for the whole of Delhi as if R K Puram & Mayur Vihar were not a part of Delhi!

I saw animosity in the line of reasoning, and while i was still mulling over his statements, he added NOW YOU KEEP A PUPPET BIHARI TO PUSH YOUR TAMIZHAN AGENDA. SEE, THE SO FAR DORMANT MURALI VIJAY HAS STARTED SCORING AND BADRINATH,  ANOTHER THAMIZHAN SCORED IN THE PRE SEMI ELIMINATOR- WHAT DRAMA IS THIS? YOU SHOW THE 50 OF DHONI, BUT WHEN DHONI IS ASKED HE SAYS THAT IT WAS BADRINATH’S 47 OR 49 WHICH SET UP THE PLATFORM. SO I SEE THE TAMIZHAN CONSPIRACY AND ME AS A DELHIITE, AM SENSITIVE TO THESE UINDERCURRENTS.BOTH THE BIHARIS AND MADRASIS ARE PLAYING HUMBLER THAN THOU………..WHICH IS AGAINST DELHI’S SOCIALISTIC PRINCIPLES. THE WHOLE COUNTRY SHOULD GROW IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER OTHER STATES WORK OR NOT! iT IS THE DUTY OF DELHI TO CORRECT THOSE EMERGING IMBALANCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SEE A BIHARI-TAMIZHAN AXIS IN THIS IPL,  TO RETAIN CHENNAI AS THE VENUE FOR THE NEXT IPL FINALS TOO.

SO WE IN DELHI,  WANT THE RULES TO BE CHANGED SO THAT THE FINAL’S VENUE COULD BE ROTATED SOCIALISTICALLY AND WE ARE GIOING TO FLOAT THE NEW FUNDA THAT THE INDIAN CRICKET FANS ARE MATURE AND WOULD SUPPORT EVEN OUTSIDE TEAMS.

At last i had a glimpse of the deep rooted prejudices hidden within each fan under the guise of good CRICKET!

But that’s NOT CRICKET.

While we are fighting it out under the umbrella of Cricket, the SPONSORS, the PROTECTORS (read the local politicians, police……….) and the MYRIAD ORGANIZERS (BCCI, TNCA, ICC..) are having a nice symbiotic relationship. Then there are those observers like me writing the WRONGS and people like KAPIL DEV who are hoping to duplicate such entertainment with the help of ZEE! CRICKET GOES ON………..in one form or the other.

In the meanwhile, Luke Pomersbach, Ms Hamid, Peerzada & Siddarth Mallya are all getting together to DRAFT a LEGISLATION ON “THE PERFECT FUTURE WIFE BILL” (Private) to be jointly  moved in the Parliament by Rajya Sabha MPs REKHA and JAYA BADHURI!

Whatever it might be CSK should win!

The Great IPL Circus


Match fixing, drunken brawl & molestation. All three issues are pending at various levels. The interesting part is that each of the three issues mentioned appeared in the press in that chronological order. But the issue which is closest to CRICKET is MATCH FIXING, the other issues of SHAH RUKH KHAN making counter allegations of his daughter being treated rudely or the issue of a woman accusing an RCB player LUKE POMERSBACH of misbehaving with her ‘FIANCE” are all issues which are either twice or thrice removed from cricket, but have unfortunately overtaken the important issue.

If we ignore MATCH FIXING, it wouLd be better that we ALLOW the bookies auction the IPL trophy than have the players exhibit their skills.

I like that pouty lil kiddo called SIDDARTH MALLYA telling the media that THE WOMAN WAS ALL OVER HIM AND THAT SHE ASKED HIM FOR HIS BBM PIN, AND THEREFORE WAS BOT BEHAVING IN A MANNER BEFITTING A WOMAN ABOUT TO BECOME A WIFE! If there was any overt offer from any woman, it surely is because of his pedigree and the heirdom that is likely to befall (with all that KINGFISHER debts to settle!)  him and not because of his ACHIEVEMENTS AS AN INDIVIDUAL.  The POUTY kiddo, no doubt should take up for his “RCB FAMILY MEMBER’, but not by making such derogatory remarks on a woman.

Let us for a minute assume that she did not behave in a way worthy of a woman about to become a wife; yet that episode was between the POUTY KIDDO and HER, does that mean that she would have behaved in a similar  way with the RCB player LUKE? Not necessarily. LUKE is definitely no Becker or Tiger Woods! Assuming that the woman invited LUKE POMERSBACH to her room, does LUKE POMERSBACH  acquire a vested interest to molest the woman? No not at all.

For a minute i wouldn’t have any reader of my blog believe that i impute great innocence to the woman or Sahil Peerzada! But taking up for a man who beat up an occupant or the occupant’s fiance in his/her own room is unpardonable, especially  if there is no justifiable reason for the aggressor. Till now there is no counter allegation from LUKE POMERSBACH.

I like VIJAY MALLAYA’S mature answer that the incident was unfortunate and that they would co-operate with the authorities. Well said, that was all that was needed instead of mouthing nonsense like his brat son. A word of advice for the POUTY BRAT:A MANTLE IS DIFFERENT FROM A MAN! A MAN IS SELF-MADE, WHEREAS WHEN THE MANTLE FALLS ON SOMEONE HE WOULD MERELY BECOME AN INHERITOR, AND NOT A PIONEER! Grow up kiddo- don’t let a few chicks ( giving u the kicks) get to your green tongue.

Now coming back to our Shah Rukh Khan, he sure is a self-made man and deserves to be raptly heard, mostly for all those sober explanations which he mouths the day after the incident. We have sixteen cameras to capture cricket action, i suppose we should perpetually focus a couple of those on celebrities who appear in a choreographed manner with a batch of kindergarten kids to add innocence to their blood-shot drunken looks!

TRUTH surely seems to be a casualty in this episode, the morning after, the guard says nice things about SRK. A raise to the guard by his Security & Detective agency boss cannot be ruled out, nor can a good contract by Karan Johar around his project sites should not be ruled out. BUT BELIEVE YOU ME, THEY ARE UNCONNECTED.

Mr. Shukla says that BCCI’s ruling on SRK’s disqualification from entering Wankhede Stadium would be final (nobody went on appeal on the decision of the Bombay Cricket Assn. at the time of this statement! )- what he means is that : IF I OVER-RULE THAT DISQUALIFICATION, THEN SRK CAN ENTER- SO INFLUENCE ME!

SOMETIME, WE SHOULD STAND FOR THAT WHICH IS TRUE AND FAIR AND CULTURED. LET US SHOW SOME BREEDING AND CLASS.

FAITH!


FAITH according to me is the SELF ADMINISTERED  ANTI-ANXIETY SERUM against OPACITY OF THE FUTURE or PRESENT or PAST.

Now,  Paul of Tarsus says FAITH IS THE SUBSTANCE OF THINGS HOPED FOR AND THE EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN.

There was a time, when my father made me learn by rote the above mentioned verse. But there comes a time in everyone’s life, when the fundamentals taken for granted would have to be consciously reviewed. At the time of such review, one could either accept the given statements or beliefs as a CREED and unquestioningly accept the definition and proceed or alternatively, review the same based on REASON and EMOTIONAL IMPACT on humans. But for the daring and the courageous, mere acceptance by many need not be the basis of the TRUTH of its contents, so a REASONED review becomes the course.

Hence, when my turn came for review came, i found that FAITH, according to Paul  hinged on “THINGS HOPED FOR” and “EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN”. Which means, FAITH relates to the future and the past, leaving out  the PRESENT PURPOSE of such FAITH.

And i should say in all humility, that my definition iterates on the present palliative nature of FAITH without closing down the options for future review, when new evidence emerges contrary to our expectations of our future or beliefs about our  past.

FAITH disappears when we accept our past, as is known or made known at present; or WHATEVER happens in the future.

 

The Blanket!


There was this debate between colleagues, as to whether liquor or smoke was more addictive. Naturally, the participants were reduced to those who at some time had been using tobacco or liquor or both. Even though, it is only a person who had both been a smoker and a drinker who should be qualified to participate in the debate.

One may ask me, why should a debater have a first hand experience to have an opinion? Very true, one need not have to have  first hand experience to hold an opinion, nevertheless the AUTHENTICITY of an experience is what adds weight to an opinion in a debate of these pardonable socially accepted vices.

Let me advert to one of the myths which may exemplify my point. Once the Roman Chief God and his consort got into a debate as to who enjoyed most during sex. So neither Jupiter nor Juno were able to decide, as they both have had only a one sided experience. So the person chosen to deliver a verdict on this was TIRESIAS. So who was this TIRESIAS? He was a person who had led an adult life both as a man as well as a woman. So he was called upon and he opined that a woman enjoyed more than a man during sex. Well Juno did not like the verdict and had issues with this verdict and inflicted blindness on Tiresias. Thus, we already have a mythical example which shows that unless a person has had an experience at both ends, his opinion  would not carry much weight. And i give weight to an opinion based on experience.

My friend, who was both a social drinker and also a pack smoker butted in and said, “I think i am the best suited among you all as I have not merely seen both the sides but have a fresh memory of  the ongoing addictions. He went on to narrate an anecdote from his repertoire, ” Once when a lady saw Mr. Winston Churchill drunk and sprawled on the floor said MR. CHURCHILL YOU ARE DRUNK, HORRIBLY DRUNK, the repartee from Mr. Winston Churchill was, MA’AM I WILL BE SOBER TOMORROW, BUT YOU ARE UGLY.” So by narrating this anecdote he gave an indication that sobriety returned the next day and the urge to return to the intoxicating drink  may not happen till one finds the right crowd and ambiance.

He also said that Nicotine addiction was more permanent as once the nicotine content dipped below a certain level in his blood there was an unquenchable urge to smoke, whereas when it came to drink it was the outer surroundings which impelled him to resort to drinks.  So he went on to narrate a nice little story of dubious veracity, which to my ears, settled the debate in favour of smoking as the more addictive of the two:

Once Ben and Dan went on a trekking and Ben, being the more enthusiastic of the two, ran up a hundred yards ahead of Dan.  They both sighted a black blanket on the other side of a brook, Ben crossed over and as seen from the perspective of Dan, Ben had wrapped himself around with the thick wooly blanket and was standing frozen on the other side of the brook. Dan stood still, and saw not much motion in Ben and shouted, ” BEN, LEAVE THE F**KING BLANKET COME BACK TO THIS SIDE.” Ben replied, “I HAVE LEFT IT, BUT THE BEAR IS NOT LEAVING ME.” It was a bear-hug! And not a BLANKET as was assumed by Ben. SO my friend went on to say, “As kids we take a few drags thinking cigarettes are EMOTIONAL blankets, but it is only as one gets older that one realizes that smoking is no BLANKET, but A BEAR-HUG THAT REFUSES TO LEAVE!”

But coming back to our TIRESIAS, when my professor in college Prof. Eugene D’Vaz was asked by me as to whether Tiresias was first a man and then a woman or the other way round, could not give me a convincing answer, except for his explanation that it would be easier to presume that in those mythical days- when surgery had not enabled men to append organs- it must HAVE been that Tiresias was a man first and then became a woman.

TILL DATE I BELIEVE THAT TIRESIAS  REMEMBERED MORE HIS RECENT STATUS, THAN HIS LOST PAST AND THEREFORE THE OPINION WAS BIASED BASED ON TIME LAG!

Cat fight on ECR, Chennai!


It has been the pet notion of many in the parts North of the Vindhyas that Chennai, formerly MADRAS, was a conservative city producing timid bureaucrats and clerks in good measure. This perception has been propagated, in no small measure, by the Hindi cinemas, where an innocent looking Tamizh Brahmin boy matures into a bookish type, taking a public exam and gets into a government job and attends his humdrum job with a streak of holy ash either vertically or horizontally drawn (depending on whether he is a Vaishnavite or Shaivite) and attending to his tasks dutifully, day in and day out. He is portrayed as one who shuns controversies and runs away from a place which might disturb his peace.

This portrayal has taken deep roots, and when people north of Vindhyas see other types of belligerent and combative Tamizhs, it shakes the very foundation of their beliefs. Most succeed in believing that the belligerent and combative ones are aberrations and that a true blue MADRASI “OUGHT” to be TIMID and COMPLIANT! So much for false beliefs disseminated by other language  movies, based on an expatriate  unrepresentative few.

A true blue Tamizh is combative and he is ready to rise and defend himself and mostly his language, which is the mother software to his thinking process. This morning, in TIMES OF INDIA (10/05/2012) there was this article about a woman of 35 years chasing a 25 year old woman on the EAST COAST ROAD  in a car, overtaking the younger one and blocking the car and picking a street fight with the younger one, as the wife (the older one) believed that the younger one was not merely sharing her husband, but also his “resources”!

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/Car-chase-catfight-over-man-on-East-Coast-Road/articleshow/13073247.cms

The above link would bear me out on the gist presented.

So where is the man? And while the two cars were on a chase, a few motorbike borne guys followed the cars! I LOVE IT MAN. If there is sincerity to such a story, it could be only in CHENNAI. The interesting part is that the altercation was publicized by the older woman and there was no bloody violence. There was a mere verbal fight over the younger woman stealing the resources of the man who had probably been nursed by the older woman into his present state of success!

To exemplify my point, if MACBETH after murdering DUNCAN and assuming the Kingship were to fall in love with a pretty young thing and spend his resources on the young one, LADY MACBETH would not have taken kindly to such a liaison by the younger woman. LADY MACBETH would have taken out her anger on the younger woman and not on the King MACBETH, as she would not want to destroy the comfort of being the queen, yet would do everything to decimate the resource sharing aspirations of the younger females . But fortunately, India is a democratic country.

Chennai is evolving into a DETROIT in FLORIDA! A geographical impossibility in the US, but considering Chennai turning out to be the automotive capital of the Country with a weather and a coastline state highway, qualifies for such a possibility in India!

What i like about the whole incident is that, there was no internecine and murderous intent by the older woman. She wanted to take off on the younger woman and make a good scene of it. Maybe, the older woman wanted to DEMONSTRATE to “THEIR” man, that she would go to any lengths to not only keep him but also “fight” for him! And she wants all to LIVE PEACEABLY without believing in getting her opponent murdered or maimed and spend the rest of her life between courts and jails!

But the biggest problem that a woman finds to overcome is that when she had taken a man under her wings and nursed him to success and then to see that the man fall for a woman, who knows nothing of his weak past, and hero-worships him into a different type of MANHOOD!

MY SYMPATHIES ARE WITH NEITHER, LIFE GOES ON WITH ALL ITS CONVOLUTIONS! Yet, AS SHAKESPEARE SAID, ” FOR WILL IN US IS OVERRULED BY FATE!” But it is the duty of everyone to keep our reactions outside the zone of violence and crime.

 

Policemen or security personnel?


What appalled me in today’s news was that an Ex-cricketer’s wife had a verbal altercation with  an Assistant Sub- Inspector in the Chinnaswamy Stadium at Bangalore and it has been reported that a Deputy Commissioner of Police who intervened was addressed by the lady in the second person singular  probably in Hindi (‘you’ in English may not be offensive but when a person uses “NEE”  in the only surviving classical inter-national language of India or ‘TU” in the Official language of the Indian Union, it is demeaning).

The issue that gets my goat up is, whether the police personnel, who are to do their policing duties ought to maintain order and peace even in semi-public enclosures as a sporting arena or a cinema house or a party  conducted in the farm house?

I suppose NOT.

Every police officer (includes even  a constable) is firstly a government servant and has certain duties to perform and responsibilities, for which he could be charged for dereliction if not performed as per guidelines. I find it a joke when a constable is given duties inside a stadium, when the duty owed by the organizers to the public and the state would be that they provide enough security for peace and order within the stadium.

A police man is not a chowkidar, who is to perform duties which are assigned by his superiors when the place where he has to perform is a semi-private enclosure. Such duties smack of FEUDALISM.

If the organizers do not have the wherewithal to engage the services of security personnel, why should they collect so much money from the public.

I have been to the concert of METALLICA in Bangalore at the Palace grounds and i should say that there were hardly any policemen visible and they must have managed a crowd of not less than 50, 000 without any hitch. If at all there was any police personnel, they were there only to have the authority to overrule certain arrangements and to take measures to avoid untoward incidents. They were not there doing SECURITY PERSONNEL’S JOB. Surely, the policemen are not empowered through Criminal Procedure Code and the Indian Penal Code merely to do the work of a chowkidar.

Look at this specific instance, this lady Jayanthi wife of Venkatesh Prasad stands on a passage meant for the players and the ASI, in his opinion, feels that she was blocking the path and told her to move out of the way. Is an ASI doing his policeman’s job or is it the job of a bouncer/ security staff?

I have great respect for all types of job, no work is demeaning, but when a person empowered starts performing a PUBLIC DUTY INSIDE A PRIVATE PREMISES, IT WOULD BE DEMEANING. He is not meant to do that- period.

But, why do these things happen? Simple, everyone wants free tickets for the IPL. IPL matches have become the latest gladiatorial games of the amphitheater for the public to be seen and talk about. I am sure that NOT every entrant, excepting those who are members of the club, pays for his ticket.30% of the tickets might be compliments from the organizers

If turnstiles are installed at entry points and tickets with bar-codes were to be sold, only for a consideration, the free service rendered by the police force at the behest of their bosses would not be happening. In turn the lowly constables, ASIs would not have to be looked down upon by the patrons.

Another point is that the police, when diverted for such duties, slacken and become more amenable to pleasing their immediate bosses instead of performing their duties. Further, the force needed for other emergencies also suffer.

IT IS TIME WE MADE OUR POLICE FORCE A FORCE AND NOT THE HANDMAIDEN OF A FEW BUCCANEERS, WHO PURVEY SPORTS AND ENTERTAINMENT JUST TO ENRICH THEMSELVES.

 

The Rao cut!


Back in the Law College, at Delhi, during recess, student-friends used to saunter to the canteen to have light refreshments. If the next hour after the recess were to be handled by an incompetent prof or lecturer, the recess would be extended beyond his/her hour of lecture.

During one of those recesses, i was with my friend Vikrant and this CA friend by name Rao. Mr Rao, as my remembrance goes was an amiable person and a willing smiler. He had a certain reserve which Chartered Accountants have- the type of reserve which unless an opinion is sought and potentially paying would not volunteer any perspective or even info. But in a college one doesn’t get too deep into those traits, as keeping the association for 3 years on an even keel was more important.

So on that day when the three of us walked in to the canteen, pushed by urge to have some pastry we ordered for 2 pastries, as i said i wanted a full one and the other 2 were only keen on sharing one. So after i had picked up my pastry and walked to one of the tables laid nearby, Vikrant walked  to the table and placed the pastry on the table. So when Mr. Rao was asked to divide the the pastry in two, he took the top half of the pastry with the cream and left behind the bottom half for Vikrant to have. Vikrant was much younger to both of us and a little pushing around of Vikrant was always there in the agenda, but this act of skimming the top half containing the cream,  even aroused my sense of fairness.

So i told Mr. Rao, see bro, first is that the one who cuts cannot choose first; secondly, even if you choose frist, you could choose only the piece which is lesser of the two. In this case not only that you chose first despite cutting, you have chosen the creamy part. Mr. Rao was unabashed and said that i have taken only one half, so what is the problem? He was adamant about not seeing the ingredients in his half of the pastry and kept defending himself  saying that he took only one half. So during the rest of the course, we used to irk Mr. Rao by telling him that we could share if there is no RAO CUT!

After many years, i saw the same behaviour in the sharing of Biryani among colleagues. Some say, i do not want the full biryani and they push all the meat into their plate and leave only biryani rice, which they later call saying that “they only had half biryani.” What a fallacy!

In life everything cannot be measured in volumes but also the content that make up the volumes! GOOD LUCK TO RAO-CUT & HIS ILK- it comes so naturally to them against all sense of fairness.

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